Babies belong in the baggage lockers

I read a story ages ago in the Economist that talked about how carry-on luggage should be banned and the overhead lockers should instead be used to store babies — and I tell you — I agree 1,000,000%.

Today’s flight from Sydney to Singapore was packed, and though I’d asked for a “window seat, preferably one on an emergency exit”, I was given the exit seat, but at the mid-wing exit which means no window (unless you count the one three feet in front of your head). That meant I had no distractions to the screaming baby across the aisle from me aside from watching movies at top volume and drinking rapidly to bring on sleep. Unfortunately neither worked — the volume on the earphones wouldn’t go up to 9,000 Decibels which was required to drown out the baby, and the sleep just never arrived — I just got more dehydrated and grumpy.

The first two hours were great, the baby (about two years old) was very cute and lively, running around and waving — lots of fun. But as we flew over Alice, it seems a switch was flicked and the baby transformed into Satan Incarnate. She screamed, cried and screamed a bit more for all the remaining five hours. And I say scream, I mean SCREEEEAAAAAMMMMMMM.

Even the always excellent SIA staff had waning patience — I’m sure they were dipping the dummy in something stronger than condensed milk — but it was to no avail. This baby was on a mission.

I felt really sorry for her mother, but she really should have bitten the bullet and gone and locked herself (with the baby) in a rear toilet compartment — for the greater good of course…

The two of them were continuing onto Frankfurt on the same plane — boy oh boy was I glad to get off that one.

Of course our baby will never, ever be like that